Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Pre-christmas rumination

I'm having difficulty concentrating because I feel my thoughts are chasing way too many rabbits.

Problems, real and imagined, that fall off the sky - Christmas! Rent! Car Repair! do not make it easier in any way. 

Some discomfort comes from  the inevitable flow of seasons — it is pre-Christmas time after all. On the other hand, some is just random. And some is self-imposed, like the money problems, for example because I decided to pay off my credit this year. I don't have to. I just said I would. It was my new-year resolution last year. 

But it is okay, really. I am making a good progress on my payments (although at times like now it doesn't seem like it), I am still productive at work. I am figuring things out with my significant other. 

Some things cannot be predicted. Even by my hyper-active brain. Just because there are so many unknowns and variables. I don't say it's no use to ruminate (I would do that anyway, whether I approve of it or not) but it is ambitious to try and encompass everything at once. 

Sometimes it's just wait and see. Do the motions. Move some mountains. Even if you don't know where it leads in the grand scheme of things because you can't see it yet. It will all make sense eventually. 

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